The GOKUDERA Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Equif
Summary: Thank you for purchasing a GOKUDERA HAYATO unit. Please read the enclosed manual to make sure you get the most out of your walking storage box. Mentions of shounen-ai pairings.


**Warning: **Hints of Yama27, 5927 and every crack pairing plausible.

(1) For those of you who have read the Gokkun post on the hitman(underscore) reborn comm at LJ, you should know why...(cracks up)

**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual to GOKUDERA HAYATO  
**

**GOKUDERA HAYATO **

SMOKIN' BOMB/SUPER ROYAL RIGHT-HAND MAN/ SEXY DYNAMITE/ ALL IN ONE WALKING STORAGE BOX/'RETIRED' PIANIST

Congratulations on your purchase of a GOKUDERA HAYATO unit! In order to fully utilize and enjoy your new unit, it is recommended you read and follow the instructions in the manual below.

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Gokudera Hayato (will also respond to "Gokudera-san", "'dera-kun" and "Smokin' bomb". Can be programmed to respond without any dire consequences to owner to names such as "Gok-kun"(1), "The Second Kadaj without the flippy fringe", "Smoking-idiot", "Walking Storage Box", "Squid/Octopus head", "Sexy Sweet dynamite" and the like)

Age: 13-15

Height: 1.68M

Length: Enough to blow you away.

Weight: 54KG

Place of Manufacture: Royal Right Hand Men for Mafia Bosses Facility, Smoking Geniuses Section

Date of Manufacture: September 9th

**Your GOKUDERA HAYATO comes with the following accessories:**

Please consult this list in order to know you have been sent all of the following-

Nanmori Middle High School Uniform(x1)

Sports Armbands (x2)

Red Shirt (x1)

Everlasting and indestructible Cigarettes™(x1 pack)

Black pants attached with fancy chains and belts_ (x1)_

Gokudera's Portable Dynamites™(x1000)

Glasses for reading/homework (x1)

Owners' please take note: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will eventually run of dynamites and he will need more ingredients to make them, so you might want to make a trip down to any of our affiliated branches listed at the end of the manual to buy the ingredients needed.

**Removal**

When your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit arrives, you may find that small explosions can be heard in the box. **This is normal.** Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is wondering what the hell happened to his Jyuudaime (the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit) after being put in this box and thus is now trying to bomb his way out. To prevent being blown away or killed when getting your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit to generate enough power to open the box, you might want to apply the "Stand far, far away" Rule™. After putting the said distance between you and the box, please take a deep breath and shout any of the following:

"THE VONGOLA DECIMO IS CURRENTLY BEING HARASSED BY HIBARI KYOYA/ROKUDO MUKURO!"

"OMG! TSUNA-SAN! HANG IN THERE, DON'T DIE!"(Fake crying sounds or get a TSUNA unit to give dying moans and groans for the kicks.)

"SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI IS CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO (Insert any male character name from Hitman Reborn--Yes, a male)!"

"OI, WALKING STORAGE BOX, YOUR BOSS IS EMO-ING SOMEWHERE IN A DARK CORNER BECAUSE KYOKO-CHAN REJECTED HIS LOVE CONFESSION!"

"BASEBALL IDIOT CALLED, HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO ELOPE WITH YOUR JUUDAIME."

Do stay calm when the box explodes. Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will come charging towards you with a panicked/murderous look on his face, dynamites in hand. He will be demanding in a brash/urgent/murderous tone for an appropriate answer to any of the above sentences. Point to a random direction, and take the chance to knock him out while your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit turns his back upon you. The alternative way would be getting a BIANCHI unit and station her in front at the direction you are going to point your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit to. A unconscious GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will be 100 percent guaranteed and you can go back to programming him.

**Programming**

You will find that your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit comes with a large number of functions. Some of these functions are listed below:

Smokin' Dynamite Master: Feel like bombing or exploding something up, but don't know how to go about it? Having a spot of trouble on mixing an explosive and damaging connoction for your next 'friendly' war game with your friends? Then the GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is just for you! He will guide and help you on how to mix and bomb/explode objects with dynamites, including a short tutorial on bombing "moving objects" such as a certain YAMAMOTO TAKESHI unit, for example.

Walking Storage Box: We have all seen, wondered and admired how GOKUDERA HAYATO manages to hide so many dynamites in his clothes and yet still appear, hot, smoking and normal. Thus, it is no doubt that your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will function very well as a walking storage box! You can hide anything ranging from bondage equipment (that is, if your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit allows) to those NC-17 Yaoi Doujinshis away from your mother prying eyes! This function is very useful and life saving if you need a very safe place to hide blackmail worthy materials from a particularly murderous HIBARI KYOYA or a ROKUDO MUKURO unit!

Pianist: Need a moment of classical music to soothe and calm you down but you don't have any? Need a pianist to throw the most extreme! birthday bash/christmas party but don't have the money to hire one? Then the GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is just for you! He can play just about anything on any size or type of piano--a grand piano, an electronic keyboard, a normal piano, a mini piano...your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will be able to produce probably the most beautiful melodies on earth!

Bodyguard: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is also a very loyal bodyguard! Be sure that he will guard you with his very life till the end! Of course, getting a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit is recommended because after all, your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit loyalty for that particular unit is immeasurable.

Boyfriend: Seeing a HIBARI unit going psycho on TSUNA: Free of Charge. Having to fix up the room HIBARI and MUKURO units had fought in: 44,000 moolahs. Having the GOKUDERA HAYATO unit as your boyfriend? Priceless.

Homework helper: Stuck on a particularly hard math question that no one around your vicinity knows how to solve it? Need to finish that stack of evil homework in record time? Then the GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is just for YOU! Although he may look and act like some bad ass teenager, he has a very smart and quick-witted brain! Having a GOKUDERA HAYATO unit as your tutor and homework helper is definitely going to be a great help, and the value added side is that you get to see him in glasses...

Code Creator: With that wonderful brain of his, it is no doubt that your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is also good in creating codes! However, do note that you need to state your preference of what kind of symbols you want the set of alphabets and numbers to be represented with, or else you might probably end up with his G-Code or a code filled with skulls, dynamites and an occasional dinosaur head...

**Your GOKUDERA HAYATO comes in the following modes:**

Extreme Royal Mode_ (default mode 1)_

Protective

Competitive

Royal Gay mode _(locked until you place him together with a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit for a very long time or locked in a room together for a week or so.)_

Righteous

Nostalgic(_Locked)_

Every fan girl's dream _(Locked)_

Yaoi/Shounen-ai fan girl's dream _(Locked)_

OOC _(Locked)_

Extreme Royal Mode: This mode automatically kicks in when you place your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit together with your SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit. Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will be extremely royal to your SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit and will be willing to do anything for him.

Royal Gay mode: After a spending long period together with a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit, your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will have questionable actions towards the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit. If that does not convinces you, please do go ahead and listen to your HAYATO GOKUDERA unit character song "...loop." The following translated lyrics can be interpreted as below:

_I'll believe in you, whatever it is_

(_**I will believe in you even if you were to get rejected)**_

_I'll stare and be unafraid_

_**(I will glare at/go after the person who rejected your love confession, even if she turns out to be Kyoko)**__  
I'll support you, no matter what time_

**(_I will always be there for you, even if it's an ungodly hour of 3AM) _**_  
_

_breaking through, no matter what happen_

_**(I will definitely get through your heart, even if you were to reject my love)**_

_The nights this lonely heart held back and cried_

_**(It hurts my heart to see you chasing after Kyoko and not me)**__  
were also dissappointing, enduring tears that wouldn't stop flowing_

_**(It pains me and makes me want to cry, but I am a man, so I restrained my tears)**_

_Even if Juudaime is uneasy and it seems we're gonna lose_

_**(Even if Juudaime refuses to accept my love and it seems like we getting married in the near future is impossible)**__  
I'll blow up all of that darkness_

_**(I'll get rid of those people who stands in the way of our wonderful love)**__  
I'll continue running so that the tenth's ambitions/dreams will come true_

_**(I will continue to chase and protect and love you, so that Juudaime's secret ambition of going steady with me will come true)**__  
With my right arm, I'll fight and show him how_

_**(With my powerful arm of love, I will fight on and show him that he loves me)**_

_I believe in my boss's spirit_

_**(I believe in my boss's spirit of loving)**__  
I feel my boss's mission_

_**(I feel Juudaime's small, but a definite love for me)**__  
in the depths of his pupils is a secret light, determination too_

_**(It's all hidden in his eyes, together with the secret determination to make it come true)**__  
all of this makes my courage stronger!_

**_(All of this makes my love burn even stronger for him)_**

_If Juudaime's heart is ever broken_

_**(If Juudaime is ever rejected by Kyoko)**__  
I want to be there to encourage him_

_**(I will be his rebound, baby)**__  
extinguishing these hot bombs will not shake my loyalty_

_**(Even if Juudaime were to love someone else, my love will still remain faithful to him)**__  
_

_as the guardian of storm, I'll show you you no matter what._

_**(As a guardian of storm, I will show Juudaime my love and affection no matter what)**_

_no matter how wide the sky's whereabouts_

_**(Even if Juudaime were to elope with that baseball bastard or that idiot pineapple or other people EXCEPT me)**_

_  
i'll keep protecting him for now and always_

_**(I will still protect and love him now and forever)**__  
Or even if this body is eliminated_

_**(or even if he's dead or Juudaime's body is taken over by Mukuro)**__  
I'll continue keeping Juudaime's flame_

_**(My love for Juudaime, together with Juudaime's soul, will forever be in my heart)**_

--

**Relations with other units:**

SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO absolutely _adores_ this unit. They will get along extremely well until the point you will definitely suspect whether your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit's Royal Gay Mode had kicked in.

YAMAMOTO TAKESHI: Both units get along reasonably well, complementing each other in personality wise. Of course, if you really, really, really, really want to attempt to bring both units relationship to the next level, you might want them to sing "Oretachi no Joy" together, with both units in eh, "yaoi/shounen-ai fan girl mode" on. Flames of love will definitely be dancing in their eyes. Of course, if the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit is present during the singing session, he will definitely be in the "What the hell was that" mode.

ROKUDO MUKURO: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit do not get along with this smexy pineapple head unit because he had stated that he would take over GOKUDERA HAYATO's beloved SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit.

SHAMAL: Regardless of how perverted and crazy for woman he is, the SHAMAL unit is the one responsible teaching him on how to use dynamites. Both units probably have a healthy relationship between them and your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit probably looks up to the SHAMAL unit as his role model.

BIANCHI The BIANCHI unit is your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit's half sister. Do take note that your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit will collapse in pain if he sees BIANCHI without her goggles. They are operating on a strained relationship, so it would be best if both units should not meet each other more than necessary.

**Cleaning**

Your GOKUDERA HAYATO is fully capable of cleaning himself. Of course, he definitely wouldn't say "no" if the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI offers to help...

**Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)**

Question: My GOKUDERA HAYATO unit has been hit by the Ten-Years-Later Bazooka™ and now the grown up GOKUDERA HAYATO is going on and on about he's going to kill somebody called IRIE SHOUICHI!

Answer: No surprises there. Your GOKUDERA HAYATO is bitter about the IRIE SHOUICHI unit having caused his beloved TYL! SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit's death. There's nothing much you can do except probably to get the present day SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit over to calm him down.

Question: My GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is moping somewhere in the corner and he refuses to tell me what's wrong!

Answer: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit "Royal Gay Mode" had probably kicked in and he had confessed to the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit, only to be rejected by him. You can attempt to try and cheer him up by loaning a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit from your friend and turn on the "OOC" mode.

Question: My GOKUDERA HAYATO is being really secretive after he met the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit! He stays locked up in the room all day long!

Answer: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit is probably penning love letters to his beloved JUUDAIME. Go ahead and steal some and laugh over it, or keep them in some other safe place (or give them to the ROKUDO MUKURO unit for some wholesome sadistic fun--we're not responsible if the GOKUDERA HAYATO unit wants to murder you after this) as blackmail worthy material.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit goes "EXTREME LIKE DINOSAURS EXPLODING!" every time he sees a story YAMAMOTO TAKESHI wrote.

Solution: The GOKUDERA HAYATO unit has a) probably been in a SASAGAWA RYOHEI unit presence for too long b)in so much awe on how retarded the YAMAMOMOTO TAKESHI-I mean, in total epic awe of the YAMAMOTO TAKESHI's story telling powers that he can't say anything but that or c) the OOC mode is probably on.

Problem: Your GOKUDERA HAYATO can't seem to stay without a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit for too long.

Solution: Buy a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit, or distract him with the YAMAMOTO TAKESHI unit.

**Conclusion**

With the proper care and enough SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI fawning for your GOKUDERA HAYATO unit, your GOKUDERA HAYATO will no doubt grow up to be a mighty dynamite master and a great walking storage box. As he is a certified Bishounen™, your GOKUDERA will definitely attract fan girls, especially with those sexy thighs of his. However be rest assured, your GOKUDERA HAYATO cares nothing about them except the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit and you, so do go ahead and live a life filled with explosions, frequent attempted assassinations on the SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit and squee-able romantic moments.

--

A/N: I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LYRICS INTERPRETATIONS IF SOME PARTS DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. My mind isn't working much right now, lol. Special mention and lots of love to stories as told by Yamamoto, written by xreadyxsetxcrashx on LJ and a part of the lyrics 'translation' (If Kyoko rejects your love, I will be your rebound) by one LJ user on the hitman reborn comm for inspiring this whole crack and shounen-ai filled manual. REVIEW. XD


End file.
